she was so not down for the gang bang
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize