Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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