Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
