Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and she was petting her beer can
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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