Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
