The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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