im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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