So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
