i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize