Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
