If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
