my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
