Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
