do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize