these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
