I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
