it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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