Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
