you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
