Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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