She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
