i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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