the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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