if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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