yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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