i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
