Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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