Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
