it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
