You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
