i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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