Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
