When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
