just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
His hands were made for my vagina.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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