Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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