Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
