Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
