just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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