how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
