Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
