so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
