I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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