Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
