Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
