Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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