It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
