Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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