dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
