i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
