Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
