A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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