They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
