Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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