My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
