Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
