I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
