FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
