and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
