First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
