Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
