After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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