:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
