its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
