...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
