bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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