8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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