how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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