with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize