i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
