if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
