even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
