when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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