Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
