This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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