Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
